“you hurt me!”
…we can all relate to this category. We sometimes use this as a reason when we choose to cut people out of our lives. No one is saying you SHOULD NOT cut people out who are essentially unproductive weeds.
We just need to be careful that in cutting them out we don’t do so with grudges about how those people hurt us lingering on.
The only person grudges hurt in the long run is the person holding the grudge. It’s you that has to live with the memories of how those people hurt you…you’re the one that can’t move forward with your life because of what happened to you in the past.
Everyone’s experience is different, but the principle is the same – someone hurt you and you can’t seem to let it go. You don’t want them in your life yet you have refused to forgive them.
Forgiveness is so cleansing. When you choose to forgive, you let go of all the hurt, all the burdens of the past you have been clinging unto.
I was reading this article about a girl who got to experience both heaven and hell. She spoke about how she saw certain people in hell who were there because they refused to forgive. http://dcicons.org/forum/topics/angelica-zambrano-dead-for
Can you imagine what it must feel like to have done everything right or everything you think is right and then that little glitch is what causes you to go to hell? its scary!! Trust me they are not worth it! Just forgive and forget!! No one is saying it would be an easy process, but we need to choose to do so.
Can you imagine all that Jesus went through during his crucifixion? All the people that hurt him? Can you imagine how hard it must have been to forgive them? Yet He did! And because of what He did for us we all have a claim to heaven.
To be able to love the way we ought, we need to build a thick skin.
We need to prepare ourselves for a lot of hurt in this life – people will hurt us, leave us, die etc but that should not stop us from loving and living. We were given a very big heart! One capable of showing so much! don’t clog it by storing up hurt.
How do we know when we are holding a grudge?
I believe that if we can still remember the hurt and the cause then we haven’t completely forgiven the person. If we think about it, there must have been a lot of people along the span of our lives who have in some way or another hurt us, if you pause and try to remember how many people have hurt you, you’ll find that you can’t remember many – I believe the reason we can’t remember that many is because we have forgiven and forgotten about those hurts. Whereas, the ones we do remember may either be because we are still in the process of forgetting or have not decided to forgive them yet.
How can we forgive?
Being willing to forgive is the first step. We need to be able to accept people as humans. Human beings are not perfect! They will surely hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally – it is in our nature. Once we accept this feature in them we would be able to stop the hurt festering even when we decide to move on with our lives without them.
In most cases, it may help to talk about the hurt to someone or even the cause. It’s funny how we waste time upset with such people and they may be clueless as to how they may have hurt us. If you let them know how they hurt you, it may help you on your road to forgiving and forgetting. A simple “I’m sorry” goes a long way, but showing how sorry goes the extra mile.
Learning to say out loud and also in our hearts “I forgive you”. Those 3 words are powerful! try it, and mean it – you’ll feel strangely at peace 🙂
Remember that if Jesus could love us despite all the ways we hurt him – enough to die for us, then we have it in us to do the same.